The 10 Most Asked Questions by Brides
1. How can I let people know where I am registered?
Word of mouth is really only the "proper" way to inform people where you are registered. You really must wait
until they ask you or other family members. All friends and family members should be told where you are
registered so they can inform others when asked. Today, many brides are including cards from the Department
Store where they are registered in their shower invitation. However, this is still NEVER done in the wedding
invitation.
2. How can I ask for money instead of a gift?
Actually, there is NO way of wording the asking of money for wedding gifts in lieu of something else without
being tacky. I'm afraid this is a cardinal rule of etiquette that must be taken seriously. The only thing you can do is
tell your friends and relatives your preference. Then, when others ask, your family and friends can say that you
would prefer money because you are... (i.e. saving for a house, etc.). Then, guests can do whatever they like. If
they take the hint - GREAT - but if they don't, accept the gift with a gracious thank you!
3. How can I let people know that I don't want children at the wedding?
The only thing you can do is NOT include the children's names on the invitations. However, you'll find that some
people will still bring their children. So you might want to be prepared with a "kids table" that includes crayons,
coloring books, and candy. Some even hire a babysitter to look after the children at the "kids table". Some brides
are now having "adult only" printed on their invitations but again, even at that, some people ignore the printing
and assume "their children" are, of course, invited.
4. Who Pays for What?
A growing trend today is for wedding expenses to be shared among the bride's family, the bride and groom and
the groom's family. But, here is the traditional list of "Who Pays for What".
5. How many invited guests should I expect will actually attend my wedding?
The general rule of thumb is if you're having over 200 guests, then you can estimate that about 25-28% of your
guests will be unable to attend. If you are having less 200 guests, then the percentage usually decreases to about
15-20% or less. Other factors include how many guests you invite that live out-of-town and the travel distance
required to attend the wedding. Remember, every family (and guest list is different) - so always be prepared in
case EVERYONE is able to come!
6. What are the Maid of Honor's Responsibilities?
The main role of the maid of honor is to help the bride with the wedding planning. This can include shopping for
dresses, addressing invitations, putting together favors and just being there when the bride needs some extra
help, support or someone to talk to. Click here for the Complete List of Responsibilities.
7. What is appropriate to wear for a second wedding?
No matter whether it is your first, second or third wedding… the focal point is still the wedding dress. Many
second-time brides choose a simpler, more elegant or sophisticated wedding dress. Many choose a floor length or
cocktail length dress in white, off-white or a pretty pastel. Many "etiquette experts" advise second-time brides to
not wear a veil or a long train for their second wedding. DON'T LISTEN to them! This is your day - wear what
YOU want to wear! Maybe you had a very small first wedding and now you want to go all out! Wear what makes
you feel beautiful! Click Here for More About Second Time Brides
8. How Do I Personalize my Wedding?
There are plenty of tips and ideas to make your wedding unique and personal. But, which ideas are right for you?
Only YOU can decide. Think about what is important to you and your fiancé. Think about special interests or
hobbies that you share together. Or, maybe there is a special place - the beach or some quaint little Inn you went
to when he proposed. Incorporate THESE elements and these "feelings" into your wedding and it will be truly
unique and personal. Check Out - Tips for Sentimental Wedding
9. Should I Tip My Wedding Vendors?
Your caterer or reception site serving the food will include their gratuities with your bill. So, a tip is not
necessarily expected. As for your other vendors (wedding consultant, band or DJ, limo driver, photographer),
again a tip is not required. However, if you feel a vendor went "above and beyond the call of duty", then feel free
to provide them with an extra tip. If you are concerned whether or not a vendor is "expecting" a tip, then discuss
it with them.
10. What fee should I pay my clergy?
This can be a tough one... most clergy do not have a "fee" but instead ask for a donation. In this case, anywhere
from $50 - $100 or more. A lot depends on how well you know them and whether or not counseling sessions were
involved. If you are still unsure what the appropriate amount should be - then talk to the church secretary and ask
for an "acceptable range" for a donation.
1. How can I let people know where I am registered?
Word of mouth is really only the "proper" way to inform people where you are registered. You really must wait
until they ask you or other family members. All friends and family members should be told where you are
registered so they can inform others when asked. Today, many brides are including cards from the Department
Store where they are registered in their shower invitation. However, this is still NEVER done in the wedding
invitation.
2. How can I ask for money instead of a gift?
Actually, there is NO way of wording the asking of money for wedding gifts in lieu of something else without
being tacky. I'm afraid this is a cardinal rule of etiquette that must be taken seriously. The only thing you can do is
tell your friends and relatives your preference. Then, when others ask, your family and friends can say that you
would prefer money because you are... (i.e. saving for a house, etc.). Then, guests can do whatever they like. If
they take the hint - GREAT - but if they don't, accept the gift with a gracious thank you!
3. How can I let people know that I don't want children at the wedding?
The only thing you can do is NOT include the children's names on the invitations. However, you'll find that some
people will still bring their children. So you might want to be prepared with a "kids table" that includes crayons,
coloring books, and candy. Some even hire a babysitter to look after the children at the "kids table". Some brides
are now having "adult only" printed on their invitations but again, even at that, some people ignore the printing
and assume "their children" are, of course, invited.
4. Who Pays for What?
A growing trend today is for wedding expenses to be shared among the bride's family, the bride and groom and
the groom's family. But, here is the traditional list of "Who Pays for What".
5. How many invited guests should I expect will actually attend my wedding?
The general rule of thumb is if you're having over 200 guests, then you can estimate that about 25-28% of your
guests will be unable to attend. If you are having less 200 guests, then the percentage usually decreases to about
15-20% or less. Other factors include how many guests you invite that live out-of-town and the travel distance
required to attend the wedding. Remember, every family (and guest list is different) - so always be prepared in
case EVERYONE is able to come!
6. What are the Maid of Honor's Responsibilities?
The main role of the maid of honor is to help the bride with the wedding planning. This can include shopping for
dresses, addressing invitations, putting together favors and just being there when the bride needs some extra
help, support or someone to talk to. Click here for the Complete List of Responsibilities.
7. What is appropriate to wear for a second wedding?
No matter whether it is your first, second or third wedding… the focal point is still the wedding dress. Many
second-time brides choose a simpler, more elegant or sophisticated wedding dress. Many choose a floor length or
cocktail length dress in white, off-white or a pretty pastel. Many "etiquette experts" advise second-time brides to
not wear a veil or a long train for their second wedding. DON'T LISTEN to them! This is your day - wear what
YOU want to wear! Maybe you had a very small first wedding and now you want to go all out! Wear what makes
you feel beautiful! Click Here for More About Second Time Brides
8. How Do I Personalize my Wedding?
There are plenty of tips and ideas to make your wedding unique and personal. But, which ideas are right for you?
Only YOU can decide. Think about what is important to you and your fiancé. Think about special interests or
hobbies that you share together. Or, maybe there is a special place - the beach or some quaint little Inn you went
to when he proposed. Incorporate THESE elements and these "feelings" into your wedding and it will be truly
unique and personal. Check Out - Tips for Sentimental Wedding
9. Should I Tip My Wedding Vendors?
Your caterer or reception site serving the food will include their gratuities with your bill. So, a tip is not
necessarily expected. As for your other vendors (wedding consultant, band or DJ, limo driver, photographer),
again a tip is not required. However, if you feel a vendor went "above and beyond the call of duty", then feel free
to provide them with an extra tip. If you are concerned whether or not a vendor is "expecting" a tip, then discuss
it with them.
10. What fee should I pay my clergy?
This can be a tough one... most clergy do not have a "fee" but instead ask for a donation. In this case, anywhere
from $50 - $100 or more. A lot depends on how well you know them and whether or not counseling sessions were
involved. If you are still unsure what the appropriate amount should be - then talk to the church secretary and ask
for an "acceptable range" for a donation.
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